I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
