lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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