i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
