as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
