yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
