I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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