Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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