best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
being pregnant is like rehab
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
