i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
