At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
