You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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