When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
