Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
