I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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