And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
