There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
