Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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