I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
