On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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