New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
