i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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