I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
