There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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