there's paper in my vomit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
