he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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