i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
