She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
