I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
