Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
