pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
