my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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