It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
