so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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