Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Sober January is a disaster.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
