I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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