I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
