you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
