I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize