Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
