; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
