Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
