Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
