11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I love black thongs
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
