I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
