i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
