why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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