I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
