I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
my liver is dry heaving
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize