I can't watch pbs sober anymore
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
