She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
