Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
