How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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