There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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