So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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