from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
