Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Farmville is her only friend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
