you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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