Someone shit on the floor
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
