It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
