i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
