so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
