i barfeds in our rink
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize